It’s All in Your Mind
“Mindfulness clears the windshield of the mind so that we can see things as they really are.”
– Travis Eliot
I know how you feel
There’s only so much time to get Auntie’s birthday card in the mail. You need to stop at the store for a few things before getting the kids to swim lessons. Or maybe you have a work project that isn’t due yet, but you are not as far along as you’d like to be at this point. Not to mention that you are still frustrated about getting home late last night and not having time to cook something so it was take-out AGAIN!
Life can be hectic and complicated. All of the things mentioned above have a certain amount of importance, however, are they distracting you from what is TRULY important?
Are you letting stress be a daily companion so much so that it almost seems ‘normal’ to be in that state? If so, let me suggest something that can help – Mindfulness.
What’s the Deal with Mindfulness?
“Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience. It isn’t more complicated than that. It is opening to or receiving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is, without either clinging to it or rejecting it.”
– Sylvia Boorstein
Every day we wake up to a world of possibilities. How we approach that world can make all the difference in whether your day is successful or mere drudgery. Researchers and mental health professionals have increasingly recommended mindfulness as a practice to alleviate both physical and psychological issues and bring us to an acceptance and comfort with ‘the now.’
Attention to mindfulness has been around longer than you think. “Interest in mindfulness got a big boost in the 1980s when Marcia Linehan, a well-respected scholar, and therapist, discovered that it aided clients who struggled with emotion regulation. (Emotion regulation is what keeps us from having a meltdown when our favorite restaurant is closed . . . or when our friend does not return our text within the next five minutes.)” – University of Oregon Mental Health Blog
Since the 1980s, there have been hundreds of studies supporting the effectiveness of mindfulness in managing emotions and anxiety along with improving relationships and general wellbeing.
What Gets in the Way?
“When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another—and ourselves.“
– Jack Kornfield
Consider all the things that might occupy your mind and actions during an average day. You have a multitude of tasks to complete. You have to perform well in your job. You need to plan meals and follow driving directions. You may have to problem-solve a difficult relationship issue. At the same time, you could be battling a barrage of self-inflicted negative thoughts or you could be avoiding facing anything on that long to-do list by spending a lot of idle time surfing the internet or streaming shows.
And this is just a tiny fraction of the scenarios you might encounter during your day. Pile on top of that mutating viruses and the onslaught of bad news we hear through the media. Is there any wonder we are stressed?
With so much coming at us we often revert to our basic ‘fight or flight‘ instincts. This is part of our survival reaction and it involves a body response that increases heart rate, blood pressure, and release of adrenaline, among other shifts, in preparation for fleeing or fighting in times of threat. This is a good thing to have in cases of true emergencies. It may be a detriment when the threat is minimal or, in retrospect, was actually non-existent. We can all blow things up and out of proportion in our minds when we are out of our comfort zone or we are over-stressed. One way to mitigate these survival instincts is to practice mindfulness.
Should You Practice Mindfulness?
Be honest. Have you recently experienced any of the following?
Stress
Pressure
Lack of sleep
Depression
Burnout
Anxiety
Negativity
Illness
Your perspective on your life is altered when you are contending with any of the feelings and conditions on this list. But, when we are truly present we can see a situation for what it really is and not through a lens of fear, stress, or negativity. This is where mindfulness is so powerful.
Evidence now shows that utilizing mindfulness practices can reduce stress, improve memory, enhance interpersonal relationships, and increase your ability to think flexibly and clearly.
How to get into a mindfulness routine?
“You can’t stop the waves but you can learn how to surf.“
– Jon Kabat-Zinn
Part of developing a mindful state is accepting and addressing life as it is. There are many methods to developing a strong routine of mindfulness.
The following options include physical and mental pathways to a more mindful life experience:
- Self-awareness
- Rest and relaxation
- Yoga
- Journaling
- Meditation
- Positivity
- Reading
- Physical exercise
- Breathing exercises
- Listening to music
- Working with a coach
- Speaking with/seeing friends or family
- Having an outward focus (making someone else’s day)
- Grounding techniques (like 5,4,3,2,1)
Start with a pause and identify your stressors. What interactions and experiences set you off and running? What makes you feel uncomfortable or a bit lost? Is it an unexpected flat tire on your car? Going home to see family? The nightly news?
Once you have identified the things that contribute to your current stress you can look at the list above and try something that resonates with you. Note, that this will be different for different people. Some feel better when they jump in head first such as calling a friend or taking a quick jog around the block. Others want to put space between the stressor and their need to react. They may prefer to sit on their porch and watch nature in the backyard for a while or journal their thoughts. All of these activities may help you to calm yourself or give your mind time to come up with solutions – or simply rest with no solution at hand.
If the stressor is something like visiting a family member that always pushes the wrong buttons, the truth is, there is little you can do to alter their ingrained behaviors. What you can do is alter how you respond to them. Take a little time to meditate before the visit so you can approach them with your mind and body in a calmer place.
No single technique or action will magically take away all of your current stress. It is recommended that we have multiple mindset tools to rely on to better manage our reactions to daily events.
The Answer Lies Within
“One popular method of turning inward and toward source for guidance is mindfulness.”
– Juli Geske-Peer, 5 Senses for Success: Strategies to Thrive in Any Arena
A recent Psychology Today article noted “some common characteristics of people who are able to maintain good mental health and build resilience.” A few of the characteristics mentioned were:
- Waking and feeling grateful for something
- Enjoying the simple things in life
- Helping others around you
- Continue to try when going gets tough
- Being happy for others (even when your life is challenging)
It is easy to see that the traits of those with good mental health and the techniques for achieving a more mindful nature are very similar.
Luckily, we all have built-in tools to bring mindfulness into our lives and open up space for more successfully engaging in the world around us. We just have to remember to use them.
Slowing the input that is coming at us by doing a few deep breathing exercises is an inner resource we can call upon.
Adding a regular practice of mindful meditation will help calm your mind and relax your body. The internet is full of video, audio, or links to meditation classes you can take.
And, simply taking a little more time to slow down and savor mundane actions such as eating can help you appreciate the here and now.
We cannot hide from the storms we encounter in life, but we can use our own minds and bodies as the anchors we need to safely ride out those storms until we reach calmer waters.
___________
2022 International Book Awards Finalist in the Self-Help: Relationships Category!
How will engaging all of your senses to provide support for your journey as a successful leader? Please take a moment to explore my book, 5 Senses for Success: Strategies to Thrive in Any Arena. I am very proud to share these approaches and truly achievable practices that were born out of my own life and career experiences and strategic research. Each of us has it within us to achieve success and create healthier relationships within ourselves and with others
Follow this link for more information. https://juligeskepeer.com/5-senses-for-success
Juli Geske Peer is a leadership, relationship, and accountability strategist whose professional credentials include two academic degrees, mediator training, train-the-trainer certification, two coaching certifications, numerous other learning and certification accomplishments, and now, author!